Seven years of insomnia and a wicked pace of work has slowly been turning into anxiety. Do. Not. Want.
As related previously, the insomnia has gotten worse. What I haven’t told you is that my pulse rate has gone up and stayed up. During the work-week I am constantly on high-alert, nerve-wise. My blood pressure is normal, but, as Teh Smitten puts it, I’ve got a bad case of hamster heart. Either something is wrong physically or chemically, but I do know that sustained periods of high stress can result in continuous, chronic stress. My sister is dealing with similar issues, so perhaps it runs in the family.
Last week I went back to the doctor to chat about my situation. Blood was drawn. Sleep aids were changed. An anti-depressant that is supposed to help with anxiety was proffered. Said anti-depressant can cause more anxiety or agitation. Doesn’t that seem funny to you? Well, it wasn’t so funny to me last Friday when I came damn close to a panic attack. I’ve gotten used to mild anxiety but not full-on agitation. It was pretty unpleasant. It took all weekend for me to return to normal. More xanax, please.
At the same time, I’m also trying a holistic approach. On Saturday I went for my first acupuncture appointment. I can barely understand the acupuncturist, but he’s Chinese so he must know what he is doing. Right? I nod and smile at him when he speaks, as he seems to expect it and I figure that no matter where he sticks those needles I’m bound to benefit. The thing about acupuncture is that the effect is cumulative, so I will need to give it at least a month before seeing definite results. I’m am going to go twice a week for the next four weeks to try and get myself back on track. The first round was pretty interesting – I was in this tiny room with another person, separated only by a curtain. Wasn’t used to that but read that it is common practice. They put 15-20 needles in my back and two just below my ears first. After about 15 minutes, they removed them and had me flip over. Then they put four in my abdomen, three on each wrist, one on each knee, three or so on each foot/ankle, one between my eyes and one on the top of my head. I definitely felt relaxed right afterwards and did not bruise or mark. Best part is that it didn’t hurt and I just bled a little from one spot. Can’t wait till Wednesday!
Teh Smitten is being all heroic and gorgeous. He has wondered, however, if I need a hobby. I used to have a couple hobbies: shopping and watching telenovelas. Then I got a boyfriend and he was much more fun than either of those. If anyone can teach me to cast on, I’d be glad to take up knitting, but a hobby would just be another thing that I might neglect and worry over. I don’t keep up with allezoop as it is, books are lying unread, and I have a trip to CA to plan (for a friend’s wedding and vacation for Smitsy and me).