I am the only person at home (in family’s home) right now. This is very unusual. I am secretly relishing it and feel a twinge of guilt as a result. All 3500 or 3800 or whatever square feet are all mine. Mostly. I take advantage of the time and quiet to catch up on Facebook, email, and the news. It is hard to keep up with the news when I am visiting the family.
My parents and the nephew and niece were banished to a hotel last night so that my sister and brother in law could host a fantasty football party. It reminded me, acutely, about the marvelousness of East Coast men and Teh Smitten. Midwesterners, as a whole, are lovely and friendly. St. Louisans in particular. But the men are hard-core sports fans and macho, and they really don’t know how to talk to women. These guys showed up with spreadsheets and laptops and proceeded to have a very intense (and beer filled) draft. I vastly prefer Teh Smitten’s online gaming stuff to the sports crap. I will actively support his gaming, in fact.
My mom doesn’t think I should have children. I don’t think my sister thinks I should either. Either they have gotten so used to me not having children that they think it is my natural state, or they think there is something flawed in my personality that would keep me from being a good mom. This is starting to get to me. At this point I’m not exactly interested in having children, but what if I change my mind next year? There’s also the matter of my getting closer and closer to 40, and having to worry about Downs Syndrome and fertility issues. Maybe I’m meant to just be the favorite aunt. It still rankles.
Teh Smitten and I have been netflixing Slings and Arrows, a Canadian Shakespeare Theatre sitcom recommended to us by Mr. Odney. The title line is courtesy of this very dysfunctional, twisted and enjoyable show. Rachel McAdams is in it and is charming. I dunno – my friends with artsy backgrounds need to rent this show and relive their days at DC’s Shakespeare Theatre.
I’m headed to St. Louis on Wednesday night. I’m going alone this time and my nephew is quite put out about it (“why didn’t you bring Teh Smitten?!?”), so I’ll be bringing gifts from us both. But, I had the time off and I’m going to be subjecting my darling to family in October as it is. In the crucible that is Disney World. 39 more days till the 4-day massive pub crawl and then another 4 to dry out on a beach in Treasure Island.
My sister has gotten reservations for the entire fam at Epcot’s Japanese restaurant on my birthday, and a romantic date for just Smit and me at the French Bistro the night before. We’re staying in the god-awful Disney Budget All Stars Resort. I suppose I should try to get a reservation at one of the other spots, but really the kiosks with the wine and snacks might suffice and be all we can afford as it is.
Christ. I can’t believe I’m actually taking the Teh Smitten on a trip with my sister, brother in law, and their insane children. The trick will be keeping him adequately lubricated during the course of the trip so that he thinks he’s having a great time. I think I can manage this.
The EPCOT Wine and Food festival will be going on while we are there. I’ve done this festival a few times with my good friends who live in Orlando, and it is TEH AWESOME. Nobody should be experiencing Disney while completely sober. Its just too freaking happy happy and squeaky clean. The last time I was there, with sister, brother in law, and nephew, I quickly indoctrinated my brother in law into international booze and we had a grand time!
One of Teh Smitten’s friends and a favorite blogger of mine has been having a guest wine blogger and he has been posting about the fun time he had at this very festival last year:
God, if they only knew how I have abused EPCOT. In previous years, I have insisted upon starting with lunch at the Mexican pavilion because it is excellent and they serve these HUGE margaritas. If you have two, well, you’re off to a really good start. The year that I ordered a second round we ended up next at the German pavilion and I bought about $50 of Milka and Mozart chocolates. Whew! Two years ago, with the family, I merely went through each pavilion and ordered at least one drink for me and my brother in law. “Hey, B, have you ever had a Spaten?” “A what?” “I’ll be right back.” Seriously, I did this at Every Single Pavilion. We were shattered by the end of our tour of EPCOT. My sister had crawled into the double-sided kid cart with my nephew, who knew to be embarrassed at the age of 5. It was hilarious.
Wow, I should probably also mention that we had a savannah view room at the Animal Kingdom Lodge and got to enjoy nature taking place right outside our room. Well, actually, we got to watch what happened when Disney thwarted nature by separating a bull, in full rut, from the female members of the herd. This poor animal moaned for three days. My sister explained to my nephew that the bull had “special udders”. We didn’t sleep well while the beast bellowed but did have plenty of giggle fits at his expense.
Yeah, this will be the most I watch of the Olympics.
Are you watching the opening for the Olympics? What the eff was Hungary thinking? No woman would look attractive wearing a red and white floral bedspread. I gotta give Bobby Costas props for being diplomatic, evenly stating, “its all a matter of taste.” That is a quintessential Midwestern reaction. Well, the reaction to being at a total loss.
Croatia – do the guys look like they should work in an auto parts store?
The dancing Chinese go-go girls? Cheerleaders?? Not as distracting when I think about it, but strange.
Why did Russia pair those shirts with the jackets? Why are people wearing jackets at all? It is August.
US has snazzy hats. Nicely fitted jackets. And people are cheering. That is lovely. NIce to know we’re liked. Hey – don’t the US athletes look like they should all be on a yacht somewhere? Hm. Ah, designed by Ralph Lauren.
I remark that many of the athletes are dressed like flight attendants. Jebus, especially Austria. Teh Smitten expresses shock that I have not noticed this before. I’m fairly certain that Teh Smitten claims having known things previously after I have announced my thoughts at least 78% of the time. Isn’t that convenient?
Can’t say anything bad about the Chinese, especially after they had the 9 year old earthquake survivor (if you didn’t mist up then you are entirely without heart) walk alongside Yao Ming. You can’t blame an entire population for their leaders. I’m not even sure you can blame democracies for their leaders anymore.
Major quarterly meetings. Cresting next week. Training new contract staff. Outgoing contract staff not real helpful. One contractor went nuts last week, resigned on Thursday and Friday was her last day. It turns out that she didn’t do a damn thing last week – flat-out lied about everything I asked her about. Working so hard I barely have time to pee. Have lost the will to use proper grammar and sentence structure. Feeling kinda stabby, quite understandably Understabbily. Yeah, I need sleep.
Also, the mini-break thing just hasn’t worked out. I needed it, but not in the way that I now need to save money since we’re going to spend my birthday in Florida with Teh Smitten, sister, brother-in-law and delicious sobrinos. We’re going to Disney World. Got plans to take precious niece to tea with Disney Princesses, much drinking at the EPCOT wine and food festival (have been 2-3 times and being tipsy is the perfect way to approach the overwrought happy happy of WDW), then a few days vegging out on the beach at Treasure Island (near St. Pete). I’m a little concerned about subjecting my darling boyfriend to family insanity for so many days in a row… but with a substantial amount of alcohol we ought to be ok.
Three day park hopper passes are $270????? Per person?? Wow.
Despite the work oppression, had a couple bright points in my day:
1. Received new Alexander McCall Smith book from amazon.co.uk! – I love cheating the system and getting the books before they get to the US – The Unbearable Lightness of Scones – latest book in the 44 Scotland Street series and a true joy to read. Also, anyone who makes fun of Kundera gets a big plusplusplus in my book. (Men who are fans of Kundera and Rand are SCARY and should be avoided at all costs – Baby J – I am speaking to you. Clean slate = no more misogynists. Mkay?)
2. Gift in the form of Chanel skin care products from old HS friend who I found on Facebook! This woman is my new freaking hero. She works for the company – was one of their VP’s in NYC for a while – had some extra and wanted to share. How do you repay that sort of favor? I don’t have anything glamorous to offer in return; just my undying gratitude. That woman is replete with Karma.
3. Then, Teh Smitten grabbed and kissed the hell out of me. After making me spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner.
Maybe I can make it to October… 58 days and counting.